


Lortnoc ni era uoy

by JJbad



Category: Original Work
Genre: Character Study, M/M, No idea what to tag this, Possessive Behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-04
Updated: 2013-03-04
Packaged: 2017-12-04 07:11:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/707981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJbad/pseuds/JJbad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I grimaced in pain as I stabbed myself in the back of the throat. It seemed I wasn’t even safe from thinking about last night. I spit out the tooth paste and gargled with some mouthwash to try and get rid of the excess toothpaste as well as the little bit of blood I knew I would be lingering in my mouth. I looked up into the mirror again before letting my eyes wondering over my body, chocolate brown skin still wet with water. I let my eyes go lower down past my neck and I had to turn away quickly. I knew what lay further down there; I never really liked to look at them in the mirror. I had to wash this body every day I knew what lay there. Putting my hands on the sink I met my eyes once before I looked down into it closing my eyes and exhaling deeply.</p><p>“You should be dead,” a soft seductive voice said in my ear. It was distinctly male, in the lower ranges of tenor closer to the upper range of baritone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lortnoc ni era uoy

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a original piece for a character I want to work on. I hope you enjoy and feel free to check out other stories I write. I really do need comment or suggestions. This hasn't been beta'd see end not for more details.

Steam filled the room as I drew back the curtains of the shower as I stepped out of the shower. The cool air made me shiver a little bit at the contrast of going from hot to cold. I cast a glance at the door wondering if I should open it before deciding that it wasn’t worth the time. Grabbing a black towel from the rack, wrapped it around my waist making my way towards the sink. I knew my roommate was out and I was grateful for that since I could have the shower for as long as I wanted.

Today felt like it was going to be one of those days. A day where it felt like the world would be out to get me. It was a disorienting feeling knowing that as soon as I rolled out of bed something was going to make me upset and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to go out and face it or not. It was past 11 o’clock when I got into the shower and I had just gotten up thirty minutes ago. I lay in bed contemplating not going to class but decided that I should. It wasn’t like I could afford the absences; I also knew that he would be mad. I didn’t really care if I made him mad or not usually, he tended to try and please me the best he could, although at times what I felt was best for me and what he felt was best were two different things.

Letting out a sigh I got to the sink and looked up into the mirror meeting my dark brown eyes. Scowling at myself I looked down and grabbed the toothbrush, brushing my teeth with a little more force then was necessary. Could last night have been contributing to my bad mood? 

I shook my head as I brushed my teeth harder. Nothing really happened last night except-

I grimaced in pain as I stabbed myself in the back of the throat. It seemed I wasn’t even safe from thinking about last night. I spit out the tooth paste and gargled with some mouthwash to try and get rid of the excess toothpaste as well as the little bit of blood I knew I would be lingering in my mouth. I looked up into the mirror again before letting my eyes wondering over my body, chocolate brown skin still wet with water. I let my eyes go lower down past my neck and I had to turn away quickly. I knew what lay further down there; I never really liked to look at them in the mirror. I had to wash this body every day I knew what lay there. Putting my hands on the sink I met my eyes once before I looked down into it closing my eyes and exhaling deeply.

“You should be dead,” a soft seductive voice said in my ear. It was distinctly male, in the lower ranges of tenor closer to the upper range of baritone. 

When had he gotten here? I don’t remember even hearing the door open, although I shouldn’t be too surprised. He had always been rather stealthy ever since I met him a few years ago. He was a constant companion who always wanted what was best in the world for me. He was the person who I knew would be upset at me should I miss class. I knew I needed my education; sometimes it was just hard to find a reason to leave the apartment. I’m surprised my roommate never met him; then again maybe he has and never told me about it.

A blunt finger nail was slowly making patters up my spine. It slowly circled each vertebrae mapping it out, as it crawled up at a snail’s pace. The nail wasn’t that sharp and it felt like fly was on my skin. I squirmed a bit trying to dislodge that hand, but his other grasped my hip as he continued. When he was traced the last one at the base of my skull he place a soft kiss there.

“I should be shouldn’t I?” I asked keeping my eyes closed as he reached down and grasped my left hand with his.

“No,” he murmured as he went ahead and nuzzled my neck. I tilted my head back into his and let him smell me. It was always pleasant when I could relax and not have to worry about putting on a show for people. He knew me better than anyone else did and knew just what to do to take away the aches and pains of life, what words to say to build me up or break me down. He never really used words to hurt me though. He had other means to do that.

“You could be an angel,” he said as he pulled back from me letting go of my hand. He ran a large palm down over my shoulder blades, tracing the muscle and bone with calloused fingers. He traced a vertical line down next to both bones as if he was cutting something open. I knew it was just him placing where my wings would be if I had them.

“Me? A angel?” I scoffed at the idea of that. I couldn’t be an angel, at one time I would have said sure to him. Now, I felt I couldn’t be a heavenly body at all. I knew there was probably a special place reserved for me in hell. Either for sleeping with the same sex or for the things I did. My soul was tainted long several years before I had turned eighteen.

“You should be glad you’re not one?” He sounded scornful even mentioning it. It was rather ironic sine he tended to leave those who were innocent alone. He only went after those who deserved it those who tended to be tainted just like me. Those who were what he deemed innocent he tried his hardest to protect them. I was exactly the same as him in this regard. The world was a cruel place and some things are not meant to be tarnished by the same means I was.

“Why, I’d be a pretentious bitch?” Laughing he pulled his hand away before he brought both his arms up and wrapped them around my neck pulling me back against his chest. It was bare as mine was and probably a bit warmer. I could feel his muscles flex as he pulled me tighter to him and I had to let go of the sink to lean back into him.

“No,” he brought his right hand under my chin and tilted it up so that I was look straight ahead into the mirror. I didn’t open my eyes though because I knew that is what he wanted. It was a game between us to see how quickly he could get me to open my eyes after he found me wherever I was. Usually it was a bathroom or down a street, a chance meeting which I usually tended to lose. This time I was determined to win the game.

“Why then?” I asked as he stroked the column of my neck long fingers gliding easily over my Adam’s apple as soft as silk. The hand kept going further down until it was placed over my heart. I knew it wasn’t beating faster than normal. I had long grown used to him making sudden appearances so the shock factor had long since worn off. He drummed fingers over the spot a few times before he turned to face me his face brushing against mine as he moved to reach my ear.

“I’d have to rip them off then,” he said and I knew he had no ill intent. He didn’t think I was an angel at all and I knew he was right. He was anything but the reason I became tainted, hell he was the reason I wasn’t as fucked up as I should be.

“I’ve never had an interest in being one. You on the other hand,” I began, bringing my own hand up to place over his, “I can see you being a demon.”I could feel his grin against my cheek. To him it wasn’t an insult, nor was it a stroke to his ego, it was just another name to him. He was what he had to be and if he had to be a demon he wouldn’t care if someone called him it. His ego wasn’t through vanity, it was through confidence, and he emanated it with every action he took. If this were the animal kingdom there is no doubt he would be an alpha. The thing was appearance wise he didn’t seem it at all. The old cliché “Looks can be deceiving” fit him well and those that knew him found out that he was always the top dog one way or another.

“For you I’d be anything,” he murmured, as he kissed behind my ear. I knew he meant it also he proved it time and time again that he would do what he had to for me.

“You’re such a sap.” I let out a breath and knew that he was rolling his eyes at me. I knew that his eyes were a golden-hazel that changed depending on his mood. I never got to see them change when he was around me they were always golden.

“I could kill you,” he threatened, curling his fingers so his nails were softly digging into my chest.

“You know you won’t,” I stated simply as his hand relaxed and slipped free from under mine. Running it down the center of my ribcage he stopped at my abs and I tensed up. It was one the reasons I hated looking at myself in the mirror. I was surprised he didn’t trace one of the ones that were below my collar bone or the ones that decorated my back. I had over three dozen scars littering my body, all of them from the same place, just different times. A few of them took place earlier on that day and the rest over two dozen took place at the same time by the same man. The one who-

“Your heart is beating fast,” he said, disapprovingly. I know he hated me thinking about it but when he caressed the scars over my body the reaction was always the same. The scar he was touch was one of several that a few guys thought I needed. A reminder of what a fun night I had.

_My arms were above my head, ropes encasing my wrist and going over something that I couldn’t look up to see. Panic, longing, rage, fear were emotions I was racing through at the moment. I didn’t want things to go this way I just wanted a chance. A chance to prove what I thought was the correct path. I was already bleeding from one of their knives, a switch blade that had cut me across the abs and over the heart. Both of them were bleeding profusely and I knew that they would scar without a doubt. I just hope that they wouldn’t get infected by the time I got home, if I got home. I was forced to watch as they-_

“I’m here now, it won’t happen again.” His promise brought me back out of the memories that I felt myself going into. It was after that day he made his presence known. That day was so etched in my memory I didn’t think anything I did would make me forget that feeling or what they did from my mind. That even only gave me 7 cuts on my body each one from a single one of the guys who decided it was fun to mark me, a fag for them to abuse.

“Sorry,” I said, knowing that I really didn’t need to apologize. He knew what touching one of them would do it me it always happened. He usually felt guilty that couldn’t do anything.

“No all jocks are jerks,” there was playful tone to his voice.

“Just most of them,” I responded to what he said. He shrugged against me.

“More fun for you.” his tone was a bored. I knew that he also wanted to add “or for me” at the end of that sentence. He stopped stroking the scar on my abs and moved to touch the other three that were decorating my chest.  
“Yeah, fun,” I didn’t really have much enthusiasm at the moment. This day made it feel like fun was far from what I needed at the moment. If it was any other time I would be grinning at him and telling him about things I would do. He’d smile and set things up or go his own way. We usually met afterwards and discussed things.

“Cheer up.” His hand left what it was doing to my chest and he went back to stroking my Adam’s apple. “Be a good boy and open your eyes for me.” Holding my chin tightly he squeezed making sure I was level with the mirror. If I opened my eyes I knew I would see him behind me pressed against my back and his eyes watching everything I was doing. He was always observant, his mind not working like anyone else I’ve know in my twenty two years of life. He was always calculating and mapping out plans in his head. His attention to minute things was astounding, his memory was something bordering on eidetic.

He stoked my chin a few times hoping that I would open my eyes, but I refused. The game we were playing always worked in his favor. I very rarely won, he made the rules and I fell into his grasp. He wasn’t anything evil though, he was more of a protector to me than a threat. He did like me looking at him every now and then when he came to me like this. He always needed me to stroke his ego and I knew once I looked at him I wouldn’t be able to look away. He wasn’t a narcissist; no he was just a person who stole the spotlight.

He pushed me forward roughly so that I was leaning over the sink. Each small scar on my back was touched all two dozen of them, each in different places, most of them on close to my tail bone, several of them across my ass and going a little bit further to the back of my knees. Stopping the caress and categorizing of each one his hand ran over one of the largest scar on my body, a disfigurement that extended from my shoulder blade to the side of my hip. It was about an inch in width and was a dark brown color, almost black, having long since healed the best it could. I hope that sometime before I turned thirty that it would mostly be gone. I knew it was a long shot though, wounds like that never healed. Even if they did the memories of how it was inflicted would never truly go away. This one was always more painful than the last and made me realize what a disappointment I’ve been to him.  
 _The sound of a belt buckle being undone was the only sound I heard as he got up._

_I took a few steps back wincing as the movement cause me a lot of pain. I had come to him telling him what happened hoping that he would help me. In his eyes thought I saw disgust and disdain. He looked at me as if I was a stranger, me his own son._  
He curled the belt around his fist as I took several more steps back. I knew I had nowhere to go when I hit the wall. The door on was on the other side of the room.  
“Weak,” he said his voice cold and full of ill intent. 

_“Father I-“ I was cut off as the sound of leather cutting through the air made me scream._

My hip was grasped harshly and I let out a quick sob before I was spun around quickly my back colliding with the sink and digging into my back. The hand holding my hip was released and it held my chin before I felt soft chapped lips press against my own. It calmed my breathing down and I felt the water in my eyes disappear as my breathing returned to normal.

“I won’t let that happen again!” He yelled as he broke the kiss, another promise I knew he would keep. He wouldn’t let anything happen to me I meant way too much to him. “I’d kill you before anything like that can happen again,” he whispered as he moved his hand back to my hip, slowly brushing it trying to help me find my center in the present time.

“That’s against the rules,” I said to him, moving my own hand to hold his shoulder. I needed to feel him to know that he was here with me and that what he said wasn’t.

My protector moved closer to me and kissed me again, biting my bottom lip softly before he spread his lips and before he ran his tongue over my lips asking me for permission. I opened my mouth and let him in my tongue finding his and I let out a little sighed at the comfort this offered me. He grasped the ends of my hair and pulled my head back breaking the kiss. Moving down my neck he slow biting down it until he reached my collarbone where he bite down drawing blood.

“The rules are a piece of shit,” he said exasperated as he released his teeth from my neck. I knew what he was doing, licking his lips to get the blood off of them. If it was anyone but me I knew they would think he had a blood fetish. I knew better then that though. What he was doing was marking me, so I could know that he was real and that I wouldn’t be alone in this world.

“They make sure that we can’t hurt each other,” I responded, knowing that it would irk him to no end. He was fun to rile up and I knew his buttons to press as well. It is what made us kindred spirits. We pushed and pulled at each other teased an badgered the other making sure that one of us played the game and the other lost. It was a dance that had been going on for a while. When I lost him the first time, it was devastating, but now that he was back in my life it was a much needed stress relief.

“You act as if I can ever hurt you,” his tone, playful now, as he let go of my hair.

“I didn’t make them, so I can’t change them.” I let go of his shoulder.

“I can you kill you. Don’t underestimate me,” he growled. He didn’t like to be told he couldn’t do something. He wouldn’t dare do it though he just wanted to be tuff in front of me so that I knew I could rely on him when I needed to. He had always been a tuff guy every since I met him, always steadfast in what he did.

“Why would I underestimate you? You can if the need arises, you won’t though,” I whispered, softly. I knew he could hear me as if I said it in his ear.

“You’re mine,” he assumed, pushing me harder against the sink.

“I’m yours. You are also mine though don’t you forget that,” I responded, baring my teeth at him in a cocky manor, the same he would use. The one I knew was going over his face as I stood there still with my eyes closed.  
“Of course I’m yours.” He moved to nuzzled under my chin. The smell of metal, with an underlining scent of something musky assaulted my senses. He was so close to me, and smelled so different from my own, especially now that I finished my shower. Then again different people carried different smells didn’t they? So it shouldn’t be a surprised to me yet it was always amazing to see what he smelt like when he came to me. Sometimes it was heady, sometimes musky, now it was metallic.  
Slowly he undid the knot of my towel letting the cloth fall to the floor. He ran a hand up my inner thigh before moving over to grasp my dick. He ran a hand over the soft muscle before he let it go. Running a hand up my chest, his hand ghosting over the scars there, he tweaked a nipple before then the other.

“I love you. Je t’amie. Te amo. Give me the language you want to hear it in and I will say it. If I don’t know the language I will find it and say it in that one,” he pressed, as I heard a soft thump. He was probably on his knees in front of me. He was never subservient except with me and it tended to fill my head with power. How I could get this cocky asshole under my sway so easily. It was a mutual thing though we had some sway over each other.  
“I know and I believe you. I love you also.” I gave him a soft grin.

I felt hands going back up my leg tracing a slow path going up the inner thigh them moving to spread my legs apart. I felt his hair brush against my cock as he moved to get in better access to my inner thigh. He started at my kneecap and worked his way up slowly following the same path that he traced earlier. He moved to the other side doing the same thing before he reached my crotch. I knew what he wanted to do; I also knew that he wouldn’t do it without permission from me. I could use him anytime I wanted to, with me though he wouldn’t dare touch me unless I said he could.

Moving a hand into his hair I let it roam over his scalp for a few seconds before I let it slide down his face. Slowly I ran over his eyes, his nose and I stopped at his mouth. I stroked over his lips with my thumb a few time before he opened my mouth taking my thumb inside. He licked it a few times before sucking on it. I chuckled a little bit.

“Not right now,” I murmured, as I pulled my thumb out and caressed his cheek. I felt him nod against my palm before He was standing up to his full height. He moved forward pressing his body against mine, sliding his knee in between my legs and placing both hands on my waist.

“You should go to class then,” he said, no trace of disappointment to be found.

“Alright.” I turned around to face the mirror again taking a few breaths before I opened my eyes. Looking up into the mirror I saw there was something slowly receding around the outer ring. When I blinked a few times it was gone.  
Sighing I reached down to pick up the towel and frowned when I realized it wasn’t the black one I had a little bit ago. This one was blood red and was warm, as if it was freshly pulled from a dryer. Looking at the toilet I saw the lid closed and black clothes on top of it. Turning around I saw he left the door to the bathroom open.

Knowing that I couldn’t do anything about it I quickly dressed and got ready. As I turned to leave the bathroom I saw something on the wall. It was foamy soap and I laughed as I realized what it was.

“Lortnoc ni era uoy” was what was on the wall in my direct line of sight. I looked back to where I had just been standing. I knew that it would fade soon so that I wouldn’t have to clean it up.

“Always,” I said to myself before walking out of the bathroom grabbing my keys and walking out of the empty apartment. I knew that my roommate wouldn’t be home for several more hours. He had classes from 8am to 5pm.

After locking the door I looked up to the sky and shut my eyes allowing the warmth of the sun to caress my skin. I always loved the sky and to be alive no matter what went on in my life. As long as I looked up I knew that I wasn’t alone in the world.  
Look backing at the street in front of my. I felt my back straighten and my posture switching from one of my normal relaxed to one more fluid. It was dreamlike and almost therapeutic. The thing was the edge of my vision was slowly turning black and closing in making me lose sight. I let out a breath as the darkness only grew. I knew that if anyone was to ever look into my eyes now they would see my own dark brown being devoured by golden-hazel. It would look like ink spilled into water as the gold came from the outer ring going towards the iris. It startled me the first time I saw it but I had grown used to it. I knew what was happening and I wasn’t afraid.

I cracked my neck and rolled my shoulders as I stood straighter. Even though I was only 5’8” I knew that the way I looked now that even someone over 7 feet tall would think I was looking down at them. 

The blackness was finally becoming too much and I only a speck of light was still visible. As I slowly lost sight of that bit of hope I let the words that I saw on the wall remind me of what was happening. I smiled as it gave me comfort.  
“I love you,” I can still hear his voice whisper in my ear.

The world was going black as I faded into unconsciousness. My last thoughts were of what was on that wall and what I saw when I looked back into the mirror. It was different from the first time and he always told me ever since those incidents. He was right and I wouldn’t do anything to prove him wrong, it always brought me comfort.

_Lortnoc ni era uoy_

You are in control.

**Author's Note:**

> Well if you got here that means you finished it. . . or just pressed the end key. I want comments or how you think this is. Feel free to leave kudos or bookmark I kinda of like this story. Granted I might come back and edit a few things here and there.
> 
> Sooo who do you think this is? I want to know who the person is.
> 
> . . . I need more people to follow me on tumblr so if you want to the link is in my profile. . . I have no idea how to hyper link yet.


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